February 6, 2012


sorry for the lack of updates lately. been really busy with work.. and there was a lot on my mind.

have you ever felt fear? the deep intense uncertain dread feeling that comes and stay even when you don't want it to? and anything and everything you do just seem so pointless. fear of things unknown. of things so uncertain. of the future. of life. of decisions. and no matter how much you try to distract yourself or push it aside, the feeling stays. like a weight in your heart. pulling you down. a burden lodged in your chest. so heavy. so hard. and sometimes when you are alone, tears threaten to come. but stays. stuck in your chest. refusing to acknowledge it. hoping that it will go away. but somehow. it doesn't. 

i feel fear.

yes. the strong confident me. such a foreign feeling. 

i'm human.

i made a decision that will change my life. 2 weeks ago.  

fear. is still here. 

help me, Lord.

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