money matters

Overheard.

Girl  : Hey, have you paid your share for Jennifer's birthday presents?

Guy : Yes, remember I gave you RM50 the last time?

Girl  : Nope, I don't remember la.

Guy : Yes, I gave you RM50 the last time.

Girl  : But I don't remember receiving RM50.

Guy : Wah! Too much la you. Paid you already some more you say I didn't pay.

Girl  : *sulks*

OK. This is just based on observation and own speculation. I think that the girl might be thinking, "I really don't remember. How can he say something like that to me? As least I am honest. It's not like I want to cheat his money. But the guy, on the other hand, might be thinking.. "Why she so dishonest one? She want to cheat my money is it?"

Well, after hearing this, it caught me thinking; money have always been an issue in relationship. It doesn't matter if the guy is earning more or the girl is earning more, or even if they are both super rich or poor. Money will and have always been an issue in relationships. How do couples handle the financial part of their relationships?

It's muddling me even more now as both my elder sisters have just gotten married. And even their weddings caused problems between both families. Issues such as who pays for what and who covers the losses or gets the profits and who gives more, how much dowry to give and etc etc... Should weddings be paid by the guy or both share the cost?

That's just the wedding. What about after that? Between husbands and wives, how do the settle all their monthly expenses. Does the husband pays for everything? Or the wife chips in also? That's if she is working. What if she is an housewife? Does that mean the husband pays for everything? How much then should the husband give the wife for her own expenses? *after all, a girl still needs to new bag or new clothes or even just a manicure*

But I'm not just talking about a husband wife relationships; what about boyfriend girlfriend relationships?

A couple of years back, during a lunch session with my friends, I brought my the topic of who pays for what in a relationship. Well,one said that he and his girlfriend split 50 50 for everything. That means if they got for dinner, he pays for his own share while she pays for her share. Another friend said that its depends but mostly its about 60 40 or 70 30. When I was in college, I knew a classmate who gave his girlfriend RM300 a month *shock*. Where does he gets the money from? I meant we were still in college. I know a lot of college kids cannot even survive themselves and maintain a girlfriend, let alone gives her spending money??

*sigh* you might be fed up with all the questions and questions and more questions but I'm just very curious.

I know of a family friend who opened a bank account for his wife and every month, he will just bank in the money for her. Another friend does the opposite, he pays for everything his wife wants. But if you are a girl, you will understand what I mean when I say that a guy will never understand why we girls need just another bag or that gorgeous must-die-for shoes when we already have gazillion of them in our cupboards. I have seen a lady, someone close to me, walked away sadly from a pair of shoes; where she stood and stared at it with longing in her heart but choose to turn and walk away in her 5-year old pair of shoe knowing that her husband would not agree to it. How sad is that? And I have also seen a wife's handphone broken but her husband refuse to buy her a new one, when he himself carries a brand new blackberry.

Ok, this are some extreme examples but the bottomline is, money is and will always be an issue in relationships. Some may be brought up during shouting matches and some may just be kept down deep in the recess of the heart, never to see the light of day while suffering in silence.

Well, if you ask me, I would of cause prefer that the guy pays for everything. Afterall, he is the man. But as what one of my friend said, "It's not fair that the guy pays for everything when they both are earning the same salary. They should share it out" So what is fair and what is not?

I know. I know. I've been hearing and reading about not letting money get in between relationships, and talking is the key. But does talking really helps?

Is there any sure-proof money plan for relationships or will we continue to watch helplessly as money destroy us?