March 25, 2012

"OMG, you look like a virgin!!!"

Yes, this was announced to about 3000 over people a couple of years back during my ex-company's annual dinner. It was held at Sunway Convention Center and they hired a transvestite to be the MC and entertainer. I was sitting at one of the forefront table and the MC was going around entertaining us. When she/he reach our table, she looked at me and exclaim, "OMG, you look like a virgin!". You cannot imagine the number of embarrassing questions  I had to go through after that. 

And I am ashamed to admit I didn't know whether to tell the truth or lie. To say 'yes' would make them think I am sure a goody-two shoes or even a young innocent kid. To say 'no' would make me slutty or easy. I could not and would not want my colleagues and co-workers to have a certain impression of me. 

Last Saturday, during PMC (Pre-marital Counselling) class, the topic was on Sex in Marriage. At the beginning of the session, the guys and girls were separated into 2 groups, after which we got back to share what we have discussed. What was interesting were the opinions between the sexes. One of the question asked was what would you say is the main difference between the way males view sex ad the way female view sex. And not surprisingly, both sides agreed that girls tend to view it more emotion, where else for guys, its more of the physical action. However, in the current generations, sex have increasingly became more loose - meaning its no longer viewed that its mostly guys who are sleeping around but lots of girls do it too. Sex have become so normal that both guys and girls just do it for the fun of it. 

Another question was would you be OK if your spouse is not a virgin. Most of the girls said that ideally they would prefer if their spouse is a virgin. However, it would depend on situation such as how long time ago did it happened or as long that he is not cheating on me now. When the question was post to the guys, half of them said that they would be OK if their spouse is not a virgin and the other half was not OK with it. So what happens when or if you find out that your spouse is no longer a virgin? 

Its interesting how people view sex this days. When I was young, I was taught that having sex is sacred and that losing ones virginity is such a taboo. But as I grew older, it became increasingly diluted. Everywhere, everyone is telling me that its OK. Its has become less wrong because everyone is doing it. And if you love the other person, that's how you show love. As I was growing up, I found out that if you are still a virgin, you are less cool because having sex its cool and if you are no longer a virgin, you are in the cool crowd. Look at the TV shows, the movies, the ads, it all tells us that having sex before and out of marriage is OK. 

Its worst when you are a Christian because you are taught since young that its wrong, yet no one is going to go upright to you and ask if you are a virgin or not. What goes behind close doors nobody will know. The temptation to sin increases. The areas between black and white are becoming so grey that we can't tell what is right and wrong or what are sins anymore. Things that we do have become less and less wrong as we grow up. The world is influencing our thinking and upbringing and so often we conveniently forget that God is watching us even behind closed doors. 

Have the world become so loose that eventually there will not be a virgin to be found anymore? Or that virginity is no longer prized?

One question that really struck me was, "When you become a parent, would you teach your child/children abstinence or prevention?". Imagine talking to your sons/ daughters in the future. Would you teach them the right thing or would you give them a condom and say,"Stay safe"? Abstinence or prevention? What type of parent would you be?

Sex before marriage is wrong. Sex should be enjoyed in the sacredness of marriage. And no matter how the world twist that or what people may say, its a sin and against most religions and moral values. 

If that remark is posted to me again... I am no longer ashamed or embarrassed to say that, " I am still a virgin and I am proud of it." I will keep the sanctity of my marriage intact.

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