I wrote these sometime back when I found out that I am going to be a mother, and the few weeks after that. They are just some random thoughts and short letters. I wasn't ready to post them at that time but it's now time...
Week 5 (27th February 2015)
I can't get my thoughts right. The feeling of excitement, euphoric, uncertainty and disbelieve is just in a big jumble up mess. My body feels different. I get tired more easily but besides that, I feel the same older 30 years old me. Yes, I am turning 30 this year and to make this year an even more exciting one... I am going to be a Mother!! Omg!!
I am 5 weeks now as what the nice doctor told me this morning. And I got to take things easy for the next few weeks. It's going be tough considering I have 4 camps coming up the next month and a couple of events. Oh well, sacrifices have to be made. I am going to be a mother!!
Motherhood will sure change things. I don't know if I am going to be a good mum or even a decent one. Most of the time, I don't feel my age. I know in some countries, girls become mothers as young as in their teens. And this is a 30 year old woman talking or writing here. Oh gosh! I don't feel 30. And I'm not sure if I am capable of raising someone up.
Dear little spot in the womb, your father knew even before I did that you are coming. He notices things about me even before I do. Haha.. It may be the emotional roller-coaster I've been giving him lately. But we are both equally excited when we found out you are here. God has given you to us and we will try to be the best parents possible. Things are going to change for sure and I pray that you will continue to grow bigger, stronger and healthier. I promise to try to have a healthier life; and that includes eating green leaf vegetables which I absolutely hate. This is so that you will have nutrients you need to be big and strong. But please forgive me if I have the occasional snacks and junk food. Mummy is just human and even though she loves her desserts, she loves you even more. So hang in there little spot, and know that you are love very much.
|First ultrasound of our little one during our first doctor's confirmation and check up|
Week 6 (8th march 2015)
hello little one, you are turning mummy's life upside down. there are days, like today, when you leave me feeling so exhausted and all I can do is just lie in bed. there are also days which are a little better; like mummy just need to sit for a wee bit after running a load of laundry. good days are when mummy have the energy to get so much work done. good days are rare. but thats ok. according to the clever internet, being tired means you are doing ok and I want you to be ok.
are you ok inside there? can you please crave for other things besides bread and butter? daddy says you like bread and butter because you are just like your daddy. he likes bread and butter too. but mummy want to eat other food too. since you are new to this eating thing, here are some things you can crave for - hamburgers, steak with lots of fries, pasta with garlic, hokkien mee, nasi lemak, yee mee, even some curry will be good. mummy really loves her yee mee but now all yee mee taste bland.
your grandpas, grandmas, aunties and uncle are all very excited about you too. daddy and mummy told them about you because we know that you are going to be so special. aunty lydia say that she is going to be an awesome aunty. your grandma is so worried about you and wants mummy to stay at home for the next 9 months. but mummy knows its going to be ok. cos you are a tough little one just like your mummy.
but the hardest part for mummy is to bluff all the uncles and aunties in church and BB. whenever they ask when am i getting you, mummy have to avoid answering the question. mummy just want to wait.. and keep this little secret of you with me. just a bit longer. you are precious to me and i just want you to be ok before sharing you with the world. so can you ask all the aunties and uncles at church and BB to forgive mummy?
hang in there little one, stay strong and healthy. know that you daddy and mummy loves you.. and don't forget the hamburgers k. they taste amazing!
Week 7 (19th March 2015)
Hello Little One! It's me again. I know you have been listening to me because I've been craving for burgers. Yes, like 5 nights in a row. Good job Little One! Thank God for your amazing Daddy who goes out and buys burgers without complaining. You have an awesome daddy, you know that? He takes care of us both and he's good to us too.
But mummy can't wait for you to come out. It's getting difficult for her here. Feeling exhausted and fatigue all the time; all hot and bother at times, and then chills at certain times. Hunger pangs hits at odd times but yet, mummy don't feel like eating. The worst is mummy feeling nausea and having an awful taste in her mouth. Basically mummy just feel like crap on most days. Mummy really wonder how those celebrities and famous people pull off pregnancy so easy.
But you know what, stay in there Little One. It's not even 2 months. Please grow bigger and stronger k.. Let mummy (and daddy) figure out her problems on their own. We love you and can't wait to lavish you with kisses.
This is going to be a short post as mummy feels like crap and she needs the bed soon. Bye Little One!